Eric Dishongh, PhDConnecting others to Jesus and His church as a husband, dad, minister, counselor, professor and friend Archives
July 2016
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The People & Things that Make My Life Easier11/27/2013  Just as you have been doing the past few weeks, I also have been reflecting on the many, many blessings in my life. This year, I have been focusing on the people and "things" that make my life a whole lot EASIER! As you read through this list, I'm hoping that you will think of the people that make your life easier and express your gratitude to them.
Here's my list... Mitzi Dishongh: Having a great Christian wife who puts up with me every day and who is an awesome mom to Brayden and Breanna very easily makes #1 on the list! Alan & Lynn Dishongh and David & Marla Medine: Having parents and in-laws living nearby has numerous perks, including, of course, meals and "watching the kids!!!" Rachel McReynolds: Church secretaries hardly ever get the appreciation that they deserve! I am thankful for all that Rachel does for Hickory Knoll, including not giving me extra work to do! And, I try to return the favor by not giving her too much extra work to do! Ashley Trosclair and Missy Thielman: I am thankful that Ashley (clinical director) and Missy (office specialist) handle all the day to day logistics of Creative Family Solutions, the busiest counseling center in St. Charles Parish! People that Pray for Me: Although specific names are not mentioned here, I am thankful for the numerous people who pray for my family and me. Mitzi, Brayden, Breanna and I have an unbelievable support system around us, and we are truly thankful! Google: Since my desktop, laptop, iPad, and smartphone all have different operating systems, Google enables me to see my email, contacts, and calendar all in one place regardless of what device I am using. Also, I probably do 25-50 Google searches a day! Text Messaging: Typically, every hour from 8am-8pm of every day of the week is filled with something having to do with family or interacting with others via face to face contact; however, I also strive to be immediately available to anyone at any given point of the day. With all of that said, the quickest way to get a response from me is by sending me a text message! Dropbox: I cannot begin to explain how simplified life is without flash drives and email attachments! Dropbox keeps all of my files synched and organized, regardless of what device I am using. Facebook: I utilize social media to stay in contact with my local and out-of-town friends and to stay up to date with current events. I have a Twitter account but don't use it all of that much! All of these previously mentioned items function "under the umbrella" of the physical and spiritual blessings that are showered upon me by God each and every day of my life. Jesus says, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30). Christians have an "easy" life knowing all that Jesus has done for us! My life purpose is to connect others to Jesus and His church by providing a Christian example and by reaching out on spiritual, relational, academic, and community levels.
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Helping Family and Friends Through a Divorce10/18/2013  ***The following is adapted from my recent presentation at Elevate 2013, a Spiritual Enrichment Workshop hosted by Heritage Christian University in Florence, Alabama. All of the lessons from the workshop will be available in a couple of weeks at HCU’s website (www.hcu.edu).***
I’m thankful for the opportunity to be a part of Elevate 2013 here at Heritage Christian University. I believe that this year’s theme, “The Spiritual and the Sexual,” is particularly relevant for the Lord’s church and for our society. Our focus today is “Helping Family and Friends through a Divorce.” Before we get to that, I just want to make it clear that I’m a big believer in marriage and that I try everything possible to help people remain married. Chris August’s song Restore captures the problem in today’s world about marriages falling apart: Nobody's growing old together, we've made it easy just to quit Love has become a negative percentage, why do we bother to commit We've got a long list of excuses, ways we try to justify Well, I propose to you the truth is, marriage does not have to die I know you're feeling like it’s falling apart and it can't go on anymore But God is a God who knows how to heal so just give it up to the Lord And He will restore. The Bible teaches that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16); however, the Bible also teaches that God loves those who have been divorced (John 4:1-26). As much as we strive to restore the sanctity of marriage and as much as we strive to teach others about what the Bible says about marriage, divorce, and remarriage, the reality is that many people will still be impacted by divorce in some form or fashion. With all of that said, I have come up with a list of 20 items that may be helpful to you or someone you know who is going through a divorce (If you have questions or comments about anything on this list, let me know.). 1. Pray, pray, and then pray some more. 2. Read the Bible every day (Ephesians, Philippians, James, etc.). 3. Keep going to church. 4. Make an appointment with a licensed, Christian counselor. 5. Go to the doctor. 6. Eat healthy (even if you have too little or too much of an appetite). 7. Exercise every day or at least 3 times a week. 8. Write in a journal every day. 9. Don’t do anything drastic (i.e. quitting your job, pulling the kids out of school, etc.). 10. Stay away from alcohol and drugs. 11. Stay away from pornography. 12. Pay close attention to bank accounts and credit cards. 13. Figure out something that you enjoy and do it. 14. Be cautious with social media. 15. Spend a lot of time with others as opposed to being by yourself all the time. 16. During the separation, don't hang out 1 on 1 with anyone of the opposite sex. 17. Get legal advice from an attorney. 18. In cases of infidelity, save everything. (You will probably need these items during the legal process, and it will help you keep a clean conscience in the future if you decide to remarry.) 19. Consider a custody mediation instead of a custody evaluation. 20. Establish a co-parenting plan with the children’s best interest in mind. As we close, here are a few words of encouragement from the Bible… Joshua 1:9… Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Romans 12:17-18, 21… Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men… Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. My life purpose is to connect others to Jesus and His church by providing a Christian example and by reaching out on spiritual, relational, academic, and community levels. -- Eric
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I Need Your Help: How Do People Change?8/16/2013  About a year ago, I conducted an informal survey via Facebook on the following question: Why DON'T people change despite knowing that it would be in their best interest? I appreciated all of the great responses!
At the present moment, I would like to pose a similar, yet much different, question: How DO people change knowing that it is in their best interest? In other words, how do they work through fear, resistance, apathy, rationalizations, ambivalence, laziness, etc.? Please post your reply on the blog or Facebook or Twitter. Thanks in advance for your help!
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My Funeral Home Director Friend7/17/2013  Let me introduce you to my funeral home director friend, Emmitt Richardson, Jr…
Emmitt is one of the funeral directors at the Richardson Funeral Home in Kenner, Louisiana. He’s actually a third generation funeral home director. His grandfather started the business with only having a third grade education, and his parents currently own the business… Emmitt grew up in Kenner. He attended St. Augustine High School in New Orleans and played second base for the baseball team and cornerback for the football team. He then attended Florida A&M University and earned a degree in finance. After graduation, he returned home to start working in the family business… Emmitt and I have several things in common… He loves Louisiana history and politics. He knows all about Louisiana’s fascinating politicians, including Huey Long, Edwin Edwards, and Ray Nagin. He thinks Mitch Landrieu is currently preparing to make a run for governor… Emmitt loves golf. His dad got him hooked on it. He enjoys playing at Ormond, the course that I grew up playing. Last year, Emmitt played in the Ed Reed fundraiser there, and he wants me to play with him at the next tournament… Emmitt loves to travel and is headed to Brazil next summer with three of his buddies to see the World Cup… Emmitt says that the best funerals are at the Hickory Knoll congregation. He says the families are always very nice to work with, and he says we have the most “melodic” services despite not utilizing instruments… I know what you're thinking... Eric, why in the world are you telling us all of this about Emmitt? Here's the point: The only reason why I know Emmitt so well is because it seems that I see him all of the time, and it's always at a funeral!... In other words, the reality about life is that there's always someone who is about to die. I certainly don't say that to scare or frighten anyone but to remind us, including myself, that death can occur at any time and that it may away sooner than we think! “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit’; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” – James 4:13-15 To learn more about becoming a Christian, click here: http://www.hkcofc.com/path-to-salvation.html. My life purpose is to connect others to Jesus and His church by providing a Christian example and by reaching out on spiritual, relational, academic, and community levels. – Eric
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160,000 Miles and Still Going4/23/2013  I’m not going to lie. I want a new car. I’m tired of driving my dirty old Toyota Corolla.
The thing has 160,000 miles on it. I bought it brand new in 2005 from a good friend, Jason Allesandro. It was a great deal. I put a little money down and paid $335.78 a month for five years. Eight years later, however, there are all kinds of things wrong with it. The left side mirror is broken. The headlights are yellow. There are bugs fixated on my front bumper. The windshield has a crack in it. The wipers have rust on them. There are spots of chipped paint. Another spot has been scratched with a key. I get black stuff on my hands from the steering wheel. The floor mats are beyond faded. One of the foot guards won’t stay in place. And, occasionally, sugar ants can be found in there. I could go on and on with what’s wrong with my car. So, the other day, I said to Mitzi, “I want a new car.” Her response was, “I thought you said awhile back that you were going to drive your Corolla till it dies. There’s nothing wrong with it. Just go wash it.” She was so right. There is nothing wrong with my Corolla. It still gets me from Point A to Point B. The engine works. The transmission works. The tires have been recently rotated. My brakes are new. I just got an oil change. And, most importantly, the dirty old thing has been paid for the last few years. The honest truth is this: The other day I attended a meeting and arrived right on time. Everyone else was already there. As I’m parking my Corolla, I noticed a black Mercedes, a white BMW, and a red Corvette. I saw all of those cars and noticed the 160,000 number on my odometer. That’s when I started wanting a new car. With all of that said, I keep remembering a couple of things that I learned awhile back from my friend, Steve Diggs, at his No Debt, No Sweat Personal Money Management Seminar. First, many people buy cars to try to impress people that they don’t even like! Second, the average millionaire never buys a brand new car and always pays cash for it. And, if I can add two more things. First, why fix something that ain’t broke? Second, we can spend so much time focusing on the bad things that aren't working instead of focusing on the good things that are working. This principle, of course, is not limited to cars! Pictured above: Me and my shiny, old 2005 Corolla- thanks, Mitz! “Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.” (I Timothy 6:6-8)
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My Fascination with Duck Dynasty3/14/2013  I’ve only shot a gun twice in my entire life. The first time was in Batesville, Arkansas when my grandfather took my brother and me into the woods without my mom knowing anything about it. The second time was inside of our pink house in Destrehan when I attempted to shoot my brother with a BB gun. I missed. He shot back. He didn’t miss. I haven’t shot a gun since!
I did go duck hunting one time with Danny Conzonere, Jr., Thomas Smith, Steve D'Ingianni, and Richard Thomas. Of course, not having a hunting license, I didn’t shoot any ducks on the pond but I did enjoy the boat ride and eating breakfast in the blind. Furthermore, I don’t own any camouflage and have never been able to grow a beard. I would certainly be considered a “yuppie” by the Robertson men! My fascination with Duck Dynasty has nothing to do with guns, ducks, camouflage, beards, or country living. Rather, quite frankly, it’s my admiration of how the Robertson family openly declares their Christian faith on the scenes and behind the scenes as well. Recently, one of our good friends, Lori Tassin, and her family had the opportunity to attend the White’s Ferry Road Church of Christ in West Monroe, Louisiana on a Sunday morning. They ended up sitting on the same pew as Si Robertson and the feedback from the Lori was as follows: “Man, that guy sings loud!” Phil Robertson serves as one of the elders at White's Ferry Road, and he was also there that morning. There are not many national celebrities that can be found in church on Sunday morning! The point that I’m trying to make is that these guys are genuine, authentic Christians. As Jase Robertson recently said at Oklahoma Christian University, the three most important things in his life are “faith, family, and ducks- and, in that order” (notice the contrast from the above photo and see also link below). The Robertson family has renewed my zeal in openly expressing my Christian faith to others. I am blessed with the opportunity each day to interact with many people in the church and in the community. As I think about each of these relationships, I hope that everyone knows that I am a Christian and that I ultimately desire for them to be one as well! My life purpose is to connect others to Jesus and His church by providing a Christian example and by reaching out on spiritual, relational, academic, and community levels. Check out these YouTube videos: 1. Phil Robertson’s “Deciding to Follow Jesus” (Lifeway)- http://youtu.be/7KwrmlTPI8w. 2. Willie Robertson’s chapel talk at Harding University- http://youtu.be/5Zf227NaFpg. 3. Jase Robertson’s interview at Oklahoma Christian University- http://youtu.be/6A2Dy9K-C8M.
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 I was invited today (February 6, 2013) to speak on the topic of “World Peace” at the weekly meeting of the Rotary Club of St. Charles Parish. Here is the transcript of that speech…
Good afternoon. I've been asked to speak today on the topic of world peace. The program committee initially thought they could get Metta World Peace, aka Ron Artest, from the Los Angeles Lakers. But, his one game suspension for fighting was for yesterday. So, World Peace was not available for today! I certainly do not pretend to be expert on the topic of world peace. I did, though, have an opportunity to consult the philosophic writings of John Lennon. He says, “Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will be as one." Quite frankly, I don't even know if peace is actually possible throughout the world. However, I do try to be a peacemaker in my own life. I am a middle child, so I suppose by nature I've always tried to keep the peace. My big sister was a daddy's girl, and my little brother a mama's boy. I never voiced my opinion on that issue in fear of making my mom or dad upset! I am a minister and counselor, in which I help people resolve conflict and create peace in their lives. Sometimes that works; other times it doesn't. I do make sure that I am always sitting closest to the door just in case World War III breaks out in my office! And, I, of course, am a Rotarian. We are part of a worldwide effort of 1.2 million Rotarians trying to facilitate peace in the world. And, I pray the same prayer as you do each week as Mr. George asks the Lord for peace in the world. I'm sure you are aware that the object of Rotary is to encourage and foster the ideal of service as a basis of worthy enterprise and, in particular, to encourage and foster: first, the development of acquaintance as an opportunity for service; second, high ethical standards in business and professions, the recognition of the worthiness of all useful occupations, and the dignifying of each Rotarian's occupation as an opportunity to serve society; third, the application of the ideal of service in each Rotarian's personal, business, and community life; and fourth, the advancement of international understanding, goodwill, and peace through a world fellowship of business and professional persons united in the ideal of service. I’m not sure if you are aware that there are even Rotary Centers for International Studies in peace and conflict resolution. Rotary Peace Fellows can earn a master’s degree or a certificate in these areas at various universities throughout the world. This afternoon, although I do not have one of these degrees or certificates, I would like to share with you four dynamics that I believe would maximize peace and minimize conflict. I'm hoping that these thoughts will be relevant to you as you think about peace throughout the world but also as you think about peace in your family, peace at your job, and peace in this great community of St. Charles Parish. Four Dynamics Associated with World Peace… 1. Appreciation: A couple of years ago, I had the opportunity to teach a university course entitled “World Religious Traditions.” The course covered the religions of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. As a Christian minister, I was hoping to create influence and connect with people. I quickly realized that the course textbook was promoting tolerance and acceptance of these three religions. Because of my convictions of absolute truth, I cannot tolerate and accept other religions to the extent to say everyone is ok regardless of what they believe. However, I can certainly have an appreciation for the similarities across religions and also an appreciation of the differences. 2. Alleviation: In order for peace to exist in the world, there needs to be the alleviation of fundamental extremism. I’m mindful of the horrendous acts of terror on September 11, 2001 in New York City. I’m also mindful of how many “Christian” leaders have burned copies of the Quran. The solution to religious differences is not to hate and kill, rather to love and serve. 3. Acceleration: In order for peace to exist in the world, there must be acceleration. We need to accelerate our love for others- regardless of their race, their background, and/or their status in society. We need to accelerate our acts of service to others. Rotary’s mottos include “Peace through Service” and “Service Above Self.” We need to accelerate our willingness to forgive others, to move on, and to let go. We need to accelerate our acts of kindness through financial giving in order to accomplish magnificent things, including the eradication of polio. 4. Ammunition: Finally, and I hope I don’t lose any friends here, but I believe that ammunition is necessary to facilitate peace throughout the world. Runaway Jury is one of my favorite movies. Dustin Hoffman plays the role of a big time attorney, and there’s a young jury consultant that comes to New Orleans to assist in the gun violence case. Hoffman looks directly at the fella and asks him why he is so passionate about this case. The consultant says, “I believe in a world without guns, sir.” Hoffman replies, “That’s a bit naïve, don’t you think?” Some people really do believe in a world without guns. However, when I think of horrific tragedies involving gun violence, specifically what happened a few months ago in Newtown, Connecticut, my heart hurts knowing all of those innocent children lost their lives and all of those families are left searching for explanation. Yes, I believe to some extent, this is a gun issue, but to a larger extent this is a mental illness issue as well. Normandy, France is certainly one of the most peaceful places I have ever been. If you go there today, you will see the beautiful sand and English Channel. And, you will also see thousands of crosses (and stars of David) reminding us of what many people describe as the “Greatest Generation.” Without ammunition, I wonder if the Nazi regime would still be active in the world today. More recently, the brave team of Navy Seals went into Pakistan to facilitate the death of Osama bin Laden. Without ammunition, our peace and freedom would certainly be more at stake. I am thankful for the men and women in our armed forces who are currently protecting our freedom and pursuing peace throughout the world. As I close, I would like to challenge you with two very specific ideas, heavily informed by the Christian worldview. First, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” Second, “Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.” We cannot control what others across the world do; we cannot control what others across the country do; we cannot control what people across the state do; we cannot control what people across the parish do; we cannot control what people in our families do; BUT, most importantly, we can control what we do. Is peace possible in THE world? I don't know. Is peace possible in MY world? Absolutely! Imagine if we can multiply that individual peace 1.2 million times over! That doesn't have to be a dream. That can become a reality. World peace is available today. World peace begins with me. Any thoughts or comments???
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 Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." As our nation celebrates the legacy of Dr. King, I've been thinking quite a bit about social justice, particularly in relation to children. Broadly defined, social justice is the idea of creating a society that is based upon the principle of equality, that understands and values human rights, and that recognizes the dignity of every human being. In an ideal world, parents would be the primary mechanism in which children understand their value and dignity. Yesterday, I learned something new that my parents did for me right before my freshman year at Destrehan High School. Evidently, my score on a standardized test was preventing me from being enrolled in Honors English. Knowing that my poor performance on a one hour test should not be the sole indicator of my academic opportunities, my parents (particularly my dad's smooth talking as PTA President) successfully pleaded with the administrators to allow me to be enrolled in Honors English. This is just one small example of my parents' willingness and determination to provide the very best for me. Mitzi and I are trying our very best to do the same for Brayden and Breanna. Unfortunately, though, many children are not as blessed as I am with parents who would do anything for them. One of my heroes, Jeff Jenkins, recently explained that the home should be the primary refuge of protection for children; however, in many instances, the home becomes the eye of the storm. Some children are caught in the middle of divorcing parents who hate each other. Some children experience abuse and malnourishment. Some children are never taken to the doctor. Some children have parents that could care less about their academic performance. Some children go to church with either one or both parents sitting at home. These harsh realities in the lives of real children have resulted in me appreciating various efforts more so than ever. I am thankful for my friend, John Dias, and his staff at the United Way of St. Charles who provide children on Friday afternoons backpacks filled with food so that they won't go hungry over the weekend. I am thankful for a lifelong family friend, Charmaine Allesandro, and her staff at the Greater New Orleans Immunization Network who provide shots to children who otherwise would not receive them. I am thankful for my friend, Lauren Lemmon, and other judges who mandate co-parenting after a divorce having the child's best interest in mind. I am thankful for churches that employ youth ministers who focus primarily on the development of faith in the lives of children. In my opinion, social justice occurs when we unconditionally love all of God's children- red and yellow, black and white- especially when their parents do not. What do you think?
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It's Nice Being in Miami Tonight!1/7/2013  Ok, I’m reminiscing…
I’m actually in Alabama this week teaching a class for Amridge University. There’s a football game on the TV tonight between the Crimson Tide and Fighting Irish at Sun Life Stadium in Miami. Actually, it’s not much of a game. Alabama just went ahead 35-0, and it’s only the third quarter! All day, though, I’ve been thinking about three years ago when I really was in Miami at Sun Life Stadium. The scenario was much different. It wasn’t the Alabama Crimson Tide on their way to winning their fifteenth national championship. Rather, it was the New Orleans Saints trying to win their first Super Bowl. They were successful that night defeating the Indianapolis Colts 31-17! It took the Saints over forty years to win the Super Bowl!!! My brother-in-law Thomas and I had seats in the lower, corner end zone. When Tracy Porter intercepted Peyton Manning’s pass in the fourth quarter, he was running right towards us! That ultimately sealed the victory for the Saints. After standing and jumping and cheering some more, I can remember sitting down in my seat trying to “live the moment.” This may sound cheesy, but here’s the thought that kept racing through my mind at that moment: “If the New Orleans Saints can win the Super Bowl, there is hope left in the world!” In my work with others, I encourage them to dream about the future. However, people often get stuck from past hurt, and as a result, do not set nor obtain any types of goals for themselves or their families. The past is the past. There’s nothing we can do to change it, but we can learn from it. For the good times, we need to have a sense of gratitude. For the bad times, we need to forgive, move on, and let go. Once we do this, we are then ready to start dreaming about the future. There is hope in the world. People can and do change. It might take someone over forty years to become a Christian. It might take over forty years for a business to become prosperous. It might take over forty years for your children to appreciate you. It might take over forty years for someone to overcome their addiction. Hopefully, your goals won’t take that long to come true. Often, we tend to focus on people and things we cannot control. But, if we start focusing on what we can control, we will likely start making progress towards our goals. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” I’m sure that Crimson Tide fans are already hoping for a sixteenth championship next year. I’m certainly hoping for the Saints to win their second Super Bowl. But none of that compares to the hope that Christians have in the future!
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 Mitzi and I just celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary! With each anniversary, I find myself reflecting back upon the past year’s highlights and challenges. And, with January 1 always three days later, my New Year’s resolutions tend to center around how I can be a better husband to Mitzi and better dad to our children, Brayden and Breanna.
Throughout out this reflecting, resolving process, I always think about my first day of class at Amridge University in August 2005, four months before our wedding. Dr. Dale Bertram was the instructor for the course “Marriage and Family Therapy in the PhD Setting.” In his first lecture, Dr. Bertram took his wedding ring off, held it in the air, and said something to this effect, “In your work in this doctoral program and in your work with families, don’t lose this!” I am truly blessed and thankful to God for my wedding ring, as it symbolizes what is most important to me in this life, besides my faith in Christ: my marriage to Mitzi! My life purpose is to connect others to Jesus and His church by providing a Christian example and by reaching out on spiritual, relational, academic, and community levels. This is accomplished more times than not in some form or fashion through helping people in their marriages. I strongly believe that churches, families, communities and everything else are fully functional when marriages are strong. When marriages fall apart, so does everything else. So, as I’m resolving to be a better spouse, I’m hoping others will do the same! If I can be of any assistance to you, please let me know. Happy New Year’s to you and your family! |
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