Robin Williams, Depression and Suicide

8/12/2014

The sudden death of Robin Williams has resulted in many reflections and opinions about his life, mental illness, personal choice, faith, etc. Although I will not fully attempt to explain my theory of depression, let me just say that depression is something that affects Christians and non-Christians. And furthermore, depression is not always due to a “lack of faith” or “personal sin.” I’m sure you have known of a faithful Christian who has struggled with depression. And, it’s likely that you have known of a faithful Christian who has committed suicide.

Several years ago, country singer Blaine Larsen released a popular song titled, How Do You Get that Lonely? The chorus includes the following:

“How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad
To make the call, that havin’ no life at all
Is better than the life that you had?
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go?
How do you get that lonely and nobody knows?”

Sometimes suicide is a surprise; however, this is the exception, not the rule. Usually, someone knows.

If someone has confided in you that they are thinking about committing suicide, it’s not something to take lightly. Although “some people are just looking for attention,” it’s far better to “play it safe than sorry.”

Encourage them to keep talking to you. Encourage them to seek professional help. Encourage them to pray. Encourage them to read Scripture. Encourage them to go to church. Encourage them to spend time with others. Encourage them to enjoy God's sunshine.

Also, pay attention to the warning signs that someone may be thinking about or planning to commit suicide (http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-recognizing-signs-of-suicide)...

“Always talking or thinking about death
Clinical depression -- deep sadness, loss of interest, trouble sleeping and eating -- that gets worse
Having a "death wish," tempting fate by taking risks that could lead to death, such as driving fast or running red lights
Losing interest in things one used to care about
Making comments about being hopeless, helpless, or worthless
Putting affairs in order, tying up loose ends, changing a will
Saying things like "it would be better if I wasn't here" or "I want out"
Sudden, unexpected switch from being very sad to being very calm or appearing to be happy
Talking about suicide or killing one's self
Visiting or calling people to say goodbye”

Finally, if you’re feeling depressed, there’s some things you need to know…

Your God loves and cares for you. Your family loves and cares about you. Your church family loves and cares about you. And, I love and care about you.

My life purpose is to connect others to Jesus and His church by providing a Christian example and by reaching out on spiritual, relational, academic, and community levels.

18 Comments

Karen Mandina

8/12/2014 07:09:27 am

This was so well said! Thank you for your love of people and your love of God!

Diann Lazenby

8/12/2014 03:51:02 pm

Dr. Dishongh, you can add to that...giving personal belongings to your family and friends; things that at one time meant a lot to them.

Zadine

8/12/2014 07:59:00 am

I have been down that road during my life time & some how with God's help I survived I am so glad we have help out there for the depressed.Keep up the good work & God bless you. love. Your Little Grandma

Lynn Dishongh

8/12/2014 08:27:07 am

Thanks for these words of hope and encouragement. Very well said.

kirk musselman

8/12/2014 08:33:27 am

Eric some great tip on what to look for. It should help us all be able to reach out to those in need. We can all listen and encourage. Thanks

Alan Dishongh

8/12/2014 09:25:32 am

This reminds us that we should be vigilant at all times and not take
any thing for granted. The blog was well done

Pat Sue

8/12/2014 09:46:21 am

Eric, this is so well done. It has love and compassion - not judgment. Thank you.

Lorraine Haggerty

8/12/2014 09:55:21 am

I couldn't believe it when I heard he had taken his life.

Your words are an inspiration to all of us who at times do not like ourselves or are not satisfied with life. There is no greater grace then what God offers.

Thank you for sending this.

Lorraine

Dot Musselman

8/12/2014 10:02:01 am

Thanks, Eric. Depression affects all of our llves. I'd like to share your blog with some of my favorite people.

Barnabus Tibbs

8/12/2014 11:43:09 am

Truly saddened that such enormous talent was lost this way.

Kevin Strouffer, Phd, LCPC link

8/12/2014 11:58:00 am

Hello Eric. I hope you don't mind if I share a few thoughts about this topic that others might find useful.

As a professional counselor, I have assisted many people dealing with the aftermath of suicide. Questions often abound, but the one that proves most difficult for many people is simply, "why"?

As others have noted elsewhere in these days following Robin Williams' death, the thought processes of depressed persons who are also suicidal are often clouded by a complex mix of emotions, feelings and thoughts such that persons cannot unravel them. They often follow notions that can obscure silver linings lead them to take what seem to them to be the best or only option.

Whatever other reasons we might ascribe, I think most of us can agree that suicide is an ultimate act predicated on the belief that there is no better answer, if only for that crucial moment. It is understandable that friends, family and others who take the time to absorb what has happened to wonder what more could be done and perhaps take on a sense of responsibility, guilt, or sympathetic hopelessness. This can sometimes grow to unhealthy proportions and we can find ourselves haunted by our sense of what we could have or should have done.

Sometimes, though, we may have taken ALL the steps to help the person at risk for suicide and still they leave us at their own hands. They may be delusional, believing things that no one considers reasonable. They may hallucinate or experience life in ways that are simply not grounded in the reality that most of us share. The point is that regardless, they still possess a will that is independent of ours, and we simply cannot "control" their thoughts, feelings and actions beyond physical restraint. And while someone might be restrained briefly for their own good in a hospital setting, there comes a point there such restraint becomes inhumane. In the long run, the best we can do is act as a positive "influence" which is a fr cry from "control".

So it us for us to be thoughtful, caring, and compassionate toward the individual and those who have suffered their loss and now must contend with a strange mix of thoughts, feelings, and emotions. But if we find the mix overwhelming, which is not uncommon, then may I suggest that we reach out to those willing and able to help us navigate such times. And, may we always remember that the Lord provides us with access to His comfort and hope - comfort and hope that truly inspire strength and visions of brighter days.

Dale link

8/12/2014 12:04:49 pm

Wonderful as always. You bless us all and I'm honored to know you. This is esp helpful coming from you with your creds. Robin was a special talent. It seems people who have incredible highs often experience tremendous corresponding lows. Keep being a blessing.

Kim Lager

8/12/2014 02:44:07 pm

Eric, You are a very kind & wise man. What you said is so true. It hits close to home for me. You were very helpful when my Aunt Becky passed away four years ago. Last year my family had two more losses, my Uncle Danny & later in the year his daughter, my cousin, Angela. They all had their own personal battles that none of us understood. Thank you for taking the time to address such a scary subject .

Ryan

8/14/2014 12:48:22 pm

Very difficult topic for all of us knowing we have all loved someone who has taken their life. Thank you for sharing your thoughts E.

David H. Warren

8/15/2014 02:07:50 am

Thank you for your thoughts. Suicide is a very difficult subject, especially for the family members and close friends that you leave behind. Perhaps I am misguided and misinformed, but I cannot help but think that suicide is a very selfish act. I can understand wishing you were never born (Job 3:11, 16) or even wishing that you were dead rather than to continue to face the suffering that you are undergoing (Job 7:15). Even if I feel that my life is now worthless and that I am no longer any use to anybody, the very fact that God has left me here on this earth and has not yet taken me home to be with Him must mean that He still has some work that He wants me to do here on earth (Phil 1:21–26). There is a form of spiritual "suicide" that a Christian is called upon to make when he or she first becomes a follower of Jesus Christ (Matt 16:24), and those who practice this form of spiritual "suicide" on a daily basis (1 Cor 15:31) will find themselves immune to physical suicide. So you want to end your life? That's great! But instead of sitting all alone in your comfortable mansion, focused on yourself and your situation in life, go out and sell all that you have, buy an airline ticket to India, and serve the poor and the sick in the slums of Calcutta, like a Mother Theresa. God has plenty of work; you will never run out of things to do or people who need. Take your focus of yourself! Whenever I feel depressed, I try to focus on the fact that I am now "crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, Who loved me and gave Himself for me" (Gal 2:20).

Tammie Williams-Cockshutt

8/15/2014 08:45:44 am

Eric, Very well said, and you got the last days of my brother-in-laws life spot on. He did all of those things in that exact order. My husband has very strong reactions when suicide is publicized, and I am so conflicted by my own feelings that I choose to remain silent rather than muddy the waters or start a dialog. I'm so proud to have met you while we were in La, and glad to know that you are doing the Lords work. You clearly are blessed with wisdom and the heart of Jesus. Thank you

Eric Dishongh

8/18/2014 07:27:52 am

Thank you everyone for the comments. This is a very difficult, yet vital subject to discuss. I appreciate each of you!

Joey Bove

10/25/2014 10:19:15 am

Hello Eric,
Greetings from the LaPlace Church of Christ. Unfortunately my view of suicide takes a narrow path which is hidden on the trail of the wide and popular path. When worldly people commit suicide they extinguish a physical life of which had no spiritual life in it. But when a so-called Christian takes his own life it may be very telling of that there never was an abiding of Christ in him. The worldly are nudged by God by depression and other troubles which are designed to urge them to Christ. Some respond but many continue to suffer needlessly and not turn to Him. A true saint does not have the right to take his own life, it does not belong to him any longer, only to Christ do the lives of the saints belong. While in Christ, the world is no longer the saint's concern, his body is here but his soul has been reserved for redemtion. Literally, the saints should not have a care in the world except to lead to Christ those that the Father sends to them.

Eric Dishongh, PhD

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